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Sweep

Sweep

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63-0 was the final in Champaign, IL last Saturday. The worst defeat for the Illini in school history. Seems fitting for this year’s Hawkeye squad who has a very Sammy Sosa like approach (tip of the cap to the Commish)….they pound weak to mediocre teams, but just can’t get it done against above average to great teams. Iowa looks to complete the sweep of mediocrity land against a team that fails to acknowledge that they have done mediocre as well as anybody for the past 20 years: Nebraska.

Since every Nebraska fan, writer, alum, resident still thinks it’s 1990, the Cornhuskers hired a guy who played for them in…..that’s right the 90s. When not watching Beavis and Butthead reruns, Nebraska fans obsess over every move of their native son, Scott Frost. Somehow during this obsessive behavior of re-watching each game on a daily basis, they claim the program has made progress despite being 4-7.

The Cornhusker defense is 12th in the Big Ten in every statistical category. Iowa has only faced one defense worse: Illinois. But Illinois could at least defend the pass. The Hawkeyes should have a huge day through the air if they employ the same aggressive attack as last week (not the conservative 90s offense they vomited on Northwestern). Use the best TE duo in the nation early, often, and all the g***amn time until they stop it. This is a rivalry game, bring the big guns and unleash the pain.

Offensively, Nebraska does have some dudes including a pretty good athlete at QB in Adrian Martinez. Yeah he may get a few yards, but his claim to fame will continue to be having been named after Rocky’s wife. In other words, he will be playing 2nd fiddle to the dominance of the Hawkeye defense. Nebraska will be screaming for Adrian’s Mommy by the 3rd quarter.

Stik’s pik to clik: Noah Fant. Welcome back welcome back welcome baaaaack #87. We may never know why the best athlete on the roster had his snap counts and targets slashed in games #8-10, but last week proved when the Hawks roll dual tight-ends, they can’t be stopped. The Omaha, Nebraska native goes Uncle buck wild with 3 TDs and 155 yards. 

The Heroes Game kicks at 11am on Fox, which will culminate Iowa’s sweep of the land of mediocrity. But an even greater sweep will take place…..Iowa’s seniors who will make their last glorious run inside Kinnick Stadium, will complete the sweep of the Cornhuskers by going 4-0 against Little Red. The seniors will begin their day by having omelettes from bald eagle eggs, then demolish Nebraska, and complete it by being showered with anything and everyone at the Union Bar. The regular season will once again conclude with the Hawkeyes sweeping the stuck in the 90s Cornhuskers back to Lincoln. Nebraska remains in mediocrity as most of their alums remain sweeping professionally while wearing Z Cavaricci’s. In Heaven There is No Beer…