Where words only sting a little bit


Barbeque Sauce

Barbeque Sauce


Mr. Summer Breeze has headed into his closet and returned looking like David Puddy donning his school colors on his face: football is back. Your Iowa Hawkeyes finished off last season with serious momentum: dumping a SEC squad in the bowl game (Kirk Ferentz owns that conference) and being the 1st school to have TWO tight ends drafted in the first round of the NFL Draft. But for some reason, it doesn’t feel like the squad is maximized. A 9-4 season is nice, but losing to Northwestern (again) and Purdue (again), results in it tasting like chicken. Good but not great. We need some flavor in Iowa City. Gimme some barbeque sauce baby, extra spicy.

Bringing the sauce for the 2019 Hawkeyes will be Polynesian Terror AJ Epenesa. Playing only half the snaps, AJE led the conference with 10.5 sacks. But no Pat Benatar, you cannot get him alone as two fellow high level NFL prospects DE Chauney Golston and DT Dayvion Nixon got his back. Chances are strong to quite strong this defense sets the school sack record.

Offensively, 2-year starter Nate Stanley returns at QB but has added facial hair that would land him a starring role in the Tombstone sequel. In his final season, #4 will be your huckleberry. Nate has the tools to be great, but will have to find new primary targets with Hockenson and Fant about to rip up the NFL. Fortunately, Captain Kirk has quietly assembled his best recruiting staff and the results are about to burst this year at the wide receiver position. The Hawkeyes will go 5 deep now that Michigan transfer Oliver Martin was granted immediate eligibility. Running back will be solid if not spectacular with the same dudes back plus two freshman from SEC country. The offense has the potential to be lethal.

The Hawkeyes open with The Not U Miami of Ohio. The fighting Roethlisberger’s are just trying to find their way and collect a nice paycheck tonight at historic Kinnick Stadium. They will play 3 quarterbacks, but ultimately decide to forgo the position and just snap the ball into their own end zone for safety reasons to avoid the terror of Epenesa.

Stiks pik to clik: RB Mekhi Sargent. With two NFL tackles (Wirfs and Jackson), the Hawks will grease up the run game. In his first full Doyle offseason, the Florida native, Sargent is in the best shape of his life. #10 runs for 150 and 2 TDs.

The 2019 Hawkeye season kicks at 6:30pm on FS1. You will see the most talented black and gold roster in a decade. If Ferentz can produce a quality barbecue sauce that Champ Kind would approve, 2019 will be have you smelling roses. In Heaven There is No Beer…